A few years ago, I felt a recurring nudge to write a blog-type post about a few personal experiences. The details of those experiences are not important right now, but the gist of the recurring nudge was that those experiences connected in a way that made a nice moral, or maybe even biblical, lesson. For some reason that I couldn’t explain, I felt compelled to write out that lesson. But, I was resistant to the nudge.

I was good at thinking of reasons why I shouldn’t waste my time writing:

I’m too busy. I’m tired. My time is better spent doing other things. I’m not a good writer. Who would want to read it? I don’t have anywhere to share something like this. Isn’t it kind of arrogant for me to assume that I have a worthwhile point to make anyway? The possibility that I might have some wisdom to share is probably just me being prideful.

I kept up this internal struggle for longer than I’d like to admit. The nudge to write and then the excuses.

One morning while I was getting ready for the day, I remember praying something like this, “God, if this is really you wanting me to write down this lesson/post, give me a sign.” I know that I shouldn’t ask God for signs, but that’s what I did that day. Later, when I opened Facebook to read the “news,” this is the first post that I saw:

Is anyone else ever like, “God, give me a sign.”

“No, a bigger sign.”

“God, I’m kind of dumb, a bigger sign.”

“You know what? If you could just let a baseball fall out of the sky and hit me over the head with step-by-step instructions, that would be awesome. Thanks. A text message would also work.”

Gulp. Got it, thanks. It’s not a baseball or a text message, but I guess this Facebook post is good enough. I decided to finally obey the nudges and I sat down at the computer that day to type out the thoughts that had been running through my head for months. After that, I finally felt peace. Those thoughts quit nagging at me.

I didn’t share what I had written with anyone. The funny thing is that after I had written it, I didn’t feel led to share it. But I don’t think that sharing it was the point of the nudge, obeying the nudge to write was the point. I believe now that God was preparing me for something else and helping me to practice obedience.

I’ve been studying up a little bit on obedience. In John 14:15 we read that Jesus said, “If you love me, keep my commands.” In 1 John 5:3 we read, “In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands...”

If loving God means keeping his commands, then when I don’t keep his commands (or obey his nudges) does that mean that I’m not truly loving God? I’m not perfect, but I’m working on it. Maybe next time, God won’t even have to call me out like that on social media.

Alicia Tate,
Elder